When it’s 4 am and you’re jetlagged beyond belief, it’s hard to think of other topics to write about besides planes. If asked at the current moment, I would describe them as the bane of my existence, since this jetlag will no doubt cost me dearly once I head into work in another couple hours. Planes are too easy of a target anyway, which is maybe why it seemed appropriate to write this, although maybe the time of day when it was written could have been slightly improved.
With that preface, I’d like to hand out a few hard-earned and well-deserved awards to individuals I have been around on recent flights over the past month or so.
The “Fight to the Finish” Award goes to the Russian gentleman in front of me all the way from
The “Winning Friends and Influencing People” Award couldn’t go to anyone else besides this lady in first class from
The “Still To This Minute I Have No Idea What The Heck Good That Is Going To Do” Award is usually the one with the most candidates, but none this time more deserving than the flight attendant lady from St. Petersburg to Moscow. As we approached landing in
Speaking of slamming into the ground, the “You’ll Die Of Cardiac Arrest Long Before Ever Dying In A Plane Crash” Award goes to the one and only worthy candidate on board the flight from
And once again, speaking of slamming into the ground (my apologies to those reading who have a fear of flying), the “No Seriously, We Get It” Award goes to the Federal Aviation Administration for STILL telling AND demonstrating how to use a seatbelt. Even if I had never been in any car, truck, van, or one of a myriad of amusement park rides, I would bet a large sum of money I could figure out how the thing was fastened. But not released, so it’s good they still tell us how to do that. Thank heaven.
The “Horrible” Award goes to the freaking sandwich I was fed from
And finally, the Best of Show Award, aptly titled the “Pantene Pro-V” Award goes out to the large Polynesian man flying from