Sub-par Is What We Aim For

Taking golf lessons as a younger kid was a blast.  In fact, the closest I’ve ever gotten to a hole-in-one was the second hole of golf I ever played.  Davis Park, #2.  It’s a par 3, and could probably be hit to now with a Fisher Price set, but back in the day, it required all the strength my 8-year old body could muster, along with a well-struck shot with my driver.  I planted the ball within 6 inches of the cup…and in all the holes of golf I’ve played since then, that’s as close as I’ve got.  Such is the life of a golfer.

In any case, the hardest part about learning the game of golf as a kid actually had nothing to do with swinging the club.  For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out the scoring rules.  The idea of the elusive par never hit home with me, and I place full blame upon society and the English language.

Take the phrase, “sub-par”.  In my experience, it’s only been when someone was nicely trying to say that something was terrible, abhorrent, or loathsome, that they have used the phrase “sub-par”.  Naturally, one would try to avoid putting those same labels on their golf game.  Scoring for me was a nightmare: between the idea that lower scores were better and sub-par was the goal, how in the world was I ever supposed to reconcile that in my 8-year old brain?  All my brain power was already being used up my multiplication tables and states and caps.

Sub-par.  Don’t get me wrong but…isn’t that what we’re all shooting for?  Isn’t this why 5-putting a par 3 is frowned upon in most circles of golfers?  Isn’t that why we all step up and try and drill the ball 300 yards down the fairway, which usually leads to us hitting the ball 300 yards to the fairway two holes to the right?  And in spite of the fact that we 5-putt and slice it like a pizza cutter, we still keep showing up to the course.  It’s a mystery as to why this is the case, and it’s probably an unsolvable one at that.

Take for example, skydiving.  Assuming you didn’t die if you slammed into the ground at terminal velocity, you would doubtfully continue to skydive on a frequent basis if you could never get your chute to open.  But yet, with golf, each time we slam into the proverbial ground at 180 mph, we keep coming back, like at some point after hundreds of jumps, we’re gonna finally get that confounded chute to open up.  

And still, there we are.  Teeing it up again like this is going to be the breakthrough round.  I may not be the best golfer in the world, but here’s something I take comfort in.  Take a quick gander at this video classic.  Thanks, Chuck, for making us all feel a little bit better about our golf games.  Make sure the volume is up to hear the thud.

So, here’s the thing.  As I’ve gotten older and played more holes of golf, I’ve finally realized two things: 1) I no longer need to pull out my driver to blast it 120 yards on #2 at Davis Park and 2) if sub-par really is used to describe bad things, I’m going to start feeling a whole lot better about my scorecard.